Too Sexy for His Sword
by ChibiRT
Summary: Short fic. Riku's feeling down about Kairi, so Sora gives him a suggestion to get her attention. (A must read for all Riku fans! ^_^)


Too Sexy for His Sword Written by Chibi and Missa  
  
I was really bored yesterday night, so I thought to myself, "Self, what song would be appropriate for Riku to sing? Self said, "I'm too sexy, of course!" And I said ...Nah, you dun want to hear the whole convo between myself. ^^; It's a short little fic, go ahead, flame it if you really want to. Whatever floats yer boat.  
  
And btw, Missa is my bestest friend who helped me write this. *claps* Go Missa!  
  
Disclaimer: I...don't own Kingdom Hearts! There I said it!! WAAH!! *runs off crying*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sora walked down the beach of Destiny Island. He saw Riku lying flat on his back looking up at the sky. Thinking his friend was playing some sort of game, he decided to go and join him.  
  
"Hey Riku! Fine day we're having isn't it?" said the ever-cheerful Sora.  
  
"Yeah...I guess," Riku said looking longingly at the clouds.  
  
"What's wrong? You sound down. Something up?" inquired Sora.  
  
"Nothing, dun worry about it Sora. It's nothing, really," said Riku shaking his hand at him with a look of defeat on his face.  
  
"Riku, I have to worry about it; I'm your friend." answered Sora.  
  
"It's just..."  
  
"Just what? Tell me."  
  
"Kairi's been ignoring me lately. I don't know if she's angry with me or if she's just not interested in me," Riku explained.  
  
"Well...Kairi's like that sometimes. All you have to do is get her attention," answered Sora cheerfully.  
  
"How do you suppose I do that?"  
  
"Hmm...I have the perfect plan! Listen up!"  
  
  
  
-The Next Day-  
  
  
  
"Kairi! KAIRI!" Tidus screamed as he ran towards the red-haired girl who was sitting on a log.  
  
"Huh? What's up Tidus?"  
  
"Riku said he wanted you to meet him on the paopu island. You know, the one he usually whups us on," said Tidus rubbing the bruise on his knee inflicted by the older boy.  
  
"Ok, sure. What for?"  
  
"Didn't say. ...But hey, he might just pop the question," Tidus nudged her with his elbow and pointed at the paopu tree. Kairi just sighed and pushed Tidus off the log.  
  
"Whatever you say Tidus."  
  
  
  
-On the Paopu Island-  
  
  
  
"I don't know about this Sora..." said Riku reluctantly.  
  
"Aww, just relax man, you'll be fine. I'll be watching the whole thing from up here," Sora said as he began climbing one of the coconut trees. "Sing your heart out. Tell her how you feel. Oh, and remember, this has to be romantic. Chicks dig that stuff."  
  
Romance. A word Riku didn't completely grasp the meaning of. He was sure that Sora didn't know what it meant either, but he couldn't resist cocking a laugh at his best friend.  
  
"Okay Sora," Riku breathed in and out slowly," I think I'm ready."  
  
"Good, because look who's coming," Sora said with a smirk.  
  
"O-Oh hey, Kairi!" Riku said nervously.  
  
"Tidus said you wanted me to meet you here?"  
  
"Yeah, that's because I have something to show you."  
  
Now Kairi was interested. What "something" did Riku want to show her?  
  
"Okay! I'm watching!" Kairi said. She sat on the floor with her legs crossed looking up at Riku with a smile.  
  
"Hehe...this is gonna be a great," thought Sora to himself cutting open one of the coconuts in the tree.  
  
Riku was kind of embarrassed he had to do this in front of Sora, but that didn't matter. All he wanted to do now was show Kairi how much he cared for her and loved her. He wasn't really sure what song he was going to serenade her with; he'd just make it up as he went along.  
  
"Aw man! I totally forgot! I need music!" Riku snapped his fingers and out popped a little heartless band! Complete with drums, guitar, bass, and bongos.  
  
Riku took one last breath "Here goes..."  
  
I'm too sexy for my sword  
  
Too sexy for my sword  
  
So sexy it hurts;  
  
I'm too sexy for the Heartless, too sexy for the Heartless  
  
Ansem and darkness...  
  
  
  
I'm a badass; you know what I mean  
  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk  
  
I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt  
  
(Riku proceeds to unbutton his shirt, which was not planned by either him or Sora.)  
  
So sexy it hurts  
  
And I'm too sexy for the Keyblade  
  
Too sexy for the Keyblade  
  
No way I'm doing swing;  
  
  
  
I'm a badass; you know what I mean  
  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk  
  
I shake my little toosh on the catwalk  
  
  
  
I'm too sexy for this...  
  
Too sexy for this...  
  
(Riku completely takes off his shirt, throwing it in the air, leaving Kairi quite taken aback! Sora almost chokes on the coconut he was eating.)  
  
  
  
I'm too sexy for a paopu, too sexy for a paopu  
  
Love's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song.  
  
Riku takes a moment to think about what he has just done, but it wasn't long before Kairi caught up with him and gave him a tight hug.  
  
"Riku! That was great!" said Kairi. "Encore, Encore!" she clapped.  
  
Riku just blushed and picked up his shirt, which was lying on the ground.  
  
Sora was completely aghast, and had to ask Riku from where and how all these actions had come to pass. He hurridly jumped down from the coconut tree. "In the name of all that is good in this world...what was that!?"  
  
"Romance," answered Riku with a smirk big enough to rival Sora's.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The End!!  
  
(Pssst! This is the part where you review. ^_^) 


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